Sunday, February 26, 2006

Cute Quotes to Start Your Day

I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: 'O Lord, make my enemies ridiculous.' And God granted it.

Voltaire (1694 - 1778)

With or without religion, you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion.
Steven Weinberg

Never be afraid to laugh at yourself, after all, you could be missing out on the joke of the century.
Dame Edna Everage

The intelligent man is one who has successfully fulfilled many accomplishments, and is yet willing to learn more.
Ed Parker

A bone to the dog is not charity. Charity is the bone shared with the dog, when you are just as hungry as the dog.
Jack London


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Saturday, February 25, 2006

I'm sorry, I'm so Busy.

Well, what a week, I've never been this busy before, so sorry I didn't post anything lately, and sorry for not replying all the emails I receive, and sorry for not answering all the calls.
Well truly I'm busy, and I'm not trying to avoid anyone ... so please excuse me these days, I just have a million thing to do ...

Saturday, February 18, 2006

What a Night

Oba Oba, I love this woman, do you know what does it feels like when you spend all the night doing nothing but listening to music, especially when it's performed by Stan Getz, sang by the great Astrud Gilberto, and originally wrote by Joao Gilberto, Oh Dindi, and There is no one like you, (taken from the spirit of Chopin's Prelude in Em).
I love you more each day, yes I do, I'll let you go away, if you only take me with you, and the Girl From Ipanema, takes me to other worlds, no one else can take me to, and How Insensitive, I must have seemed, you didn't have to be so nice, I would've loved you anyway.
And in the end comes Ziad, in his Brazilian concert, with Sho B7ebbek, and his own version of Prelude in Em.
Every time I wanted to shut down the computer, another great song is played, and of course I could do nothing.
Thanks for this great night, of course this is not my first night like this, but I guess this is the first time I write about it.


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Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Old File

This program is a semulation of a process management system.
I wrote in 3rd year, after I took the OS course, so hope it might be useful for some people.
jobmanagement.c
Enjoy ...
I published it before, I thought it won't harm if I do it again.


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I Failed to Fail

Wooooooooooooooooooooow, I passed, I'm now an official Zend PHP Certified Engineer.

Today, I was so nervous in the morning, as this is my first exam since 2 years, and I'm back again to life. wooooooooooooooooooooow.



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Monday, February 13, 2006

Weirdo Thoughts

Well, I don't know where do I start, it's like a million thoughts in my mind running at once.
Today, I was setting with a friend of mine, we were discussing a lot of things, about relativity, about origins, about life ... etc.
It was mostly about judging and “MAYBE”, maybe things are this, and maybe things are not. You have to make a decision, but maybe you were right, and maybe you were wrong.
Logic should help you in this, but the problem is that logic is not always logical, Logic says that everything should have a start, and everything should have an end; but also logic says that there is always a plus 1, and of course there is always a minus 1. Well this is not logical, there is no rules, there is nothing in logic.
I started thinking, I'm living this life, I'm 22 years old now, I'm running in this life, I don't want to waste time, why?
In computer science, the most thing I saw that implements something like life was General Trees, and people started to put Algorithms to search them, but there is a big difference between them and between life, when you are in a node in the Tree, you know all the nodes surrounding you. In life you know some of the nodes around you, but more and more nodes are hidden from you, you always try to think out of the box to find another options (nodes), but you can't know them all. another major difference is that when searching in a General tree when you reach a dead end, you can go back one step or more. In life that's not always available, you cannot undo things you've done. People made heuristics to find the shortest path to another node, they rarely happen to find them (only in an ideal tree or life), for example everyday, I wake up to go to work (from Rainbow St. to the Second circle), I have some different paths to reach it, I have some rational options, and I take one of them. My rational option is that to reach to my work is to be heading to the first circle up the street, but what if I took another path, what if went down town, maybe I would find a colleague who's driving a car, and just picks me up and I would spend less time in my journey to work. it takes me about 20 minutes when I take my rational path, but if I calculate my irrational path, it would take me in such condition about 8 minutes. (it's another Maybe).
Another thing, I'm running through my life, racing time, but to where ... ? I'm more successful in my life than most of people in my age. but how can I tell. A simple question is always asked, what is the reason of my life? a lot of people just answer it without even really thinking about it. well let's ask the question in another way, what is the thing that you would die for? that if you achieved it you don't want anything more? well maybe I had an answer for that question for sometime, but it changed in a lot of time. new purposes where put, and a lot of purposes where erased. Now, I can't answer that question. I think is that I'm living in a chaos. It's a little bit organized, but it's still a chaos.
Damn, I cannot concentrate on one thing. Why am I going to work everyday? why I'm spending time doing what I do? why am I being me? where do I want to go in the end? ...
No answer, which gives another kind of question, why do I want to live? I didn't choose to live in the first place, I was never convinced with a reason to come to this planet. And now I'm fighting to survive ... Ironic. If I died, what changes would that make? If I lived a million year, what changes would that make? If I didn't come to this planet, what changes would be? ... No answer!
If you take an upper view to life, you would feel it's worthless. But you are fighting for survival, you are racing time to take the most of it. WHY? ... No answer.
I lived a lot of experience in my life, that most people would live and die without knowing any of them, I lived the best days of my life, and I lived the worst. I knew what hunger means, and I know how love feels like. I lived days that I don't want to sleep, cause I would lose a moment of happiness, and I lived days that I don't want to wake up, so I wouldn't feel more pain. Why all of this? I could've ended things in a lot of ways, but I didn't. I could've asked for help from people that I don't want them in my life when I really needed it, but I didn't. why? ... I just don't know.
In the last JP meeting, I spent almost 10 minutes, just sitting, looking at every group, hearing what they say, just trying to figure out what discussion interests me the most. I wanted to move to sit beside a group, to join, but at that moment, I don't know what happened to me, I moved to another group. what I was thinking in that moment? ... can't say.
Sometimes I think, what if I knew everything? wouldn't that make my life easier? but what does it worth living after that? I've always hated limits, but limits makes you comfortable. Sometimes I'm too lazy to be alive ... other times I come too active to be a ... I don't know what. but most of the time I just exist, doing things for no reason, breathing for no reason, but just trying to live as a regular normal being? but I always fail. Most of people dream to be superb, I always wanted to be just normal, and I always fail. People usually respect me, but they also never agree with me. Maybe I'm trying to be a romantic rational person. but of course in theory I would fail, and I guess I failed.
Damn, I don't know anything. I guess I'm going really crazy ...

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Ma3eesh Masary

Well, for a long time, I believed that the important thing is your work, your personality, and money always came in the second place, for me I believed it's only a tool.
As from the last period, I found out, that I was mistaken, if you don't have money, you are nothing, you are the amount of money you have.
You don't have to pay money, you only just need to have them. In a situation you would be discussed to be accepted, another one (who has money) would be accepted without negotiation. I really hate these things, until lately I felt really discriminated by it, although I deserved a thing more than another one, the other was accepted (he really has a lot of money), maybe I cannot judge what really happened, but I felt it this way, it was really annoying to me.
I guess, I need to join Fight Club.


Tyler Durden (Brad Pitt at Fight Club):
Advertising has its taste in cars and clothes ... working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need.
We're the middle children of history, man.
No purpose or place.
We have no Great War ... no Great Depression.
Our Great War is a spiritual war.
Out Great Depression is our lives.
We've been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires and movie gods and rock stars.
But we won't, We're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off.

Sunday, February 05, 2006

Random Crazy Weirdo Thoughts

Justice is Blind. Justice halls painted green. Does he have the right to do something?
From the beginning of the previous century, the terms right and wrong, good and evil, had a lot of troubles surviving, these terms needed some kind of relation to something, you can say this thing is right for some kind of culture or religion or any kind of ideology.
In the end they depended on power, the one who has power, is the one who has the right. Like did the US had the right to invade Iraq? Well depending on our culture, maybe not, but did that matter, they invaded it anyway, and who could've stopped them, depending on there power, yes they had the right.
And now the question that is lately so much asked, did this Danish newspaper had the right to publish these cartoons? Till now nothing is clear, as the forces are not really visible. And does freedom of speech allows them to do that? well if we can get a couple of years before, when Bin Laden destroyed the Buddha's statues, did he had the right to do so? Well it appears that he had, nobody had complained. Like Buddhism is not a religion or something, and he did not discriminate them. Every day in our life a lot of people discriminates Buddhas, Hindus, Maharishis ..., and you know that is not discrimination, as those people has no power, and depending on our culture they are wrong, and they are stupid, and they are just a few unbelievers, cause they have gods other than ours, and we also swear at Jews, even in the fact that it is forbidden in Islam, but we consider them as enemies of god, even they believe in god, and we also consider them to hate Muslims, forgetting about some Jews who supported us and our case (Like Felicia Langer), but who cares, they don't complain about it here.
I remember before a couple of years, I was watching Late Night with Conan O'Brien on NBC, where I don't really remember whom he was talking to (I guess it was Chris Rock), who said that this is the end of time, implying somethings about the current time (I remember that he said that the best rapper is white, the best Golf player is Black, France is accusing US to be arrogant ... etc.), well I guess it's really the end of time, US is teaching Europeans how to respect religions, Britten is accusing the rest of Europe with being Racist (which the Britons were always not ?!), the Arabs are teaching Europeans the freedom of speech, And Syria is the first country to take her ambassadors out of Denmark between the Arabs based on a religious issue, Man it's really the end of time.
And at the end, what does Muslims really want from all of this Danish thing? aren't we having enough troubles with the rest of the world (Palestine, Lebanon, Iraq, Syria, and Iran)? do we need a new one? and what does the other European journals (who republished the cartoons) are up to? and how is it going to end? are we going to forget as usual? or it's going for eternity?
I guess everything is going crazy around here. This planet is lacking a lot of logic, I guess everybody is going crazy (including me). (Eza janno rab3ak 3aglak ma benfa3ak, If your people are gone crazy, your mind is not of good use for you!).

Friday, February 03, 2006

Resistance By Souha Béchara


Yesterday, I got sick, I couldn’t go to work; actually I couldn’t leave my house. As being in my bed where there is nothing much to do, I got a good chance to read a book that I’ve bought lately. It was Resistance (مقاومة) by Souha Béchara.


أن بكبر المرء أثناء الحرب الأهلية ويتقلد السلاح في العشرين، ويطلق الرصاص على قائد جيش لبنان الجنوبي ويصمد على مدار عشر سنوات في معتقل الخيام وجحيمه ... تلك هي الصورة المؤثرة للغاية التي رسمتها امرأة استعصت دوماً على الاستسلام.

What a great book, this is the first book that I’ve ever read that really gets deep inside me, a book that I could feel my tears on my cheek with every word I read.


إنها سهى بشارة، ذلك الرمز الحي للمقاومة اللبنانية. ففي العام 1988، وهي بالكاد جاوزت عمر المراهقة، حاولت سهى أن تقضي على قائد المليشيا الملحقة بإسرائيل والمكلفة العمل على حماية وجود الاحتلال في جنوب لبنان. وحالما اعتقلت، سيقت سهى إلى معتقل الخيام حيث تعرضت لتعذيب قاسٍ وطويل.

With every word I read from this book, I felt her pain. I really felt how beautiful she is, and how much pain she’s been through.
Ms. Béchara, Thank you for this great book. I really recommend it.