Nothing

Actually, I'm not posting this because I have nothing to post about, I have written a set of posts and some key notes, so that I would write them when I have time and mood, but it seems that it's so hard.
I also put notes for three posts to put on my technical blog, but the same shit happens.

My Leg
So what have happened lately, oh yes, My leg is still stabilized, which had put me to the thing of working at home, and I can really tell you that it's not fun in anyway, my whole life is a mess right now, my hard movement led to a lot of shit, My house is so messed up that it's not suitable for human beings anymore, and also, no face to face socializing is killing me.

Love
Another thing that a couple of friends told me that I'm in love, I didn't know that actually, and I didn't expect the girl too, she told more than a person that I'm falling for her, and that she needs to be away for sometime, well what do you know, she 7 years older, and totally not my type, and I expected her to be mature enough, and as a friend of me that used to talk a lot, she should have known that I so damn picky that I don't get attracted to anyone.
what is it with girls, if you're nice to her, that doesn't mean you are falling for her, it's so annoying, like what I shouldn't have female friends unless I'm planning to have them as girlfriends or something, or not to be even nice to females, well the moment I heard the news, damn, the thing flashed to my mind, if every girl is like this one (which I thought that she was very mature) well this means I'm Casanova by now, damn I hate when this shit happens.

Music
Also, I got a new Collection of music, a very big list of Jazz songs, with some classic Rock and blues, I'm spending lots of time discovering new songs (for me), which are really cool, which leads to looking for other songs for the same artist and evaluate them too :P.
Movies
I went to the DVD store the other day, as I was passing by it, and at that moment that my to watch list is almost done, and I couldn't find a thing to watch, I went to home and rewrote my list, it's only 5 movies, I've watched since then 2 of them, I guess I should look for new movies to watch.
One of my friends who is also a Movie fan, explained to me that I have went to far with the movies thing, I should quit :P.

Work
And in those new days we are planning to lunch a new project, actually today it was supposed to be finished and ready for overall testing, but there was a little delay, part of it was my mistake, as I exceeded some deadlines for the tasks I should be doing, but it's not always something you can control, you know, I guess I've enhanced my multitasking skills a lot, by now I guess I could be working on three codes for three different projects, which are unrelated, at the same moment, I guess that's an accomplishment.

Well, I guess, this is what have to say right now So .....

Sunrise - Norah Jones

I really listen to this Song a lot

What IF?

Well let's start by that History doesn't understand the question what if, like what if I didn't quit from my previous company, what if I didn't drink coffee this morning, what if I studied more before I went to the test, or what if the USSR didn't collapse? well things already happened, end of story.
Or how about the answer, the world wouldn't be the same, how not the same? this question has no answer. History has one dimension, and one Trend.
Well, this gets us to another topic, REGRET, e.g. I regret that I quited my previous work, oh really, and what did this made you, nothing, a better sentence would be, By quitting my previous work, I learned that I should appreciate the things I have, I'm not trying to be this positive guy, but it's a fact regret wont do you a thing, why?, cause things already happened, and you can't change them.
Everybody have done mistakes in his life, shouldn't they regret it? of course not, things that happened in your life made you who you are today, they taught you, they shaped you.
Now, lets assume that you can go back in history, you've built (or bought) your time machine, and you want to go back in history to change the mistakes you made, well the first thing is that this history is your future not your history, cause you've already done that (stupid ha?!), so if you want to go back in history, you should loose everything you took from that time till now, how is that, it's that you didn't gain any experience from what happened from the moment your going back to, till this moment, i.e. you don't have the conclusion that you should regret this thing, so you are going to do the same mistake again, and regret it once again.
OK, so I've done a mistake what should I do? well at first, if you are really convinced that it's a mistake, try to fix it, usually you wouldn't be able to, cause that is what regret is in the first place, OK now what?, LEARN from it. and stop crying like a baby, regret wont do you nothing.
Another Topic Pops up here, if I where in your place I would've done ..., stop the crap, the first thing you are not me, that's a fact, secondly if you were me you won't be in the exact same situation I were in, cause you where in another situation, that's history dude, OK what does that concludes us to ..., Everybody is the best to be himself, i.e. I'm the best man to be me, I don't mean that there aren't people better than me (although there are not :P kidding), better is a relational word, someone is better than some one in something specific, i.e. I'm better that the secretary in writing code, and for someone to be himself, nobody is better him.

Another Piece Of My Crap

Summer Of 2002

Love, Music, and Success, those were the titles I always remember that summer in, it was the glory summer of 2002, the best days of my life.
I really have some kind of depression every year in times like this, cause the only thing I see is the Summer of 2002, and when I look at my life right now, I feel a tear coming down on my chin.
In that summer, I tasted love for the first time of my life, I knew for the first time in my life that life is more beautiful than I could ever imagine. I knew for the first time that the smell of air in every morning is more beautiful when you are seeing her in that day. I knew for the first time that one person could make another meaning for your life, and the only meaning would be her.
Also, I can't forget music, Lot's of Jazz, and Bon Jovi (Comes with the lovers mood :D). Also spending nights playing music with my friend and roommate Baha, at that summer we discovered that the kitchen is the best place to sit, and enjoy our lives, I can't forget the nights we didn't count hours while we are playing music, specially that Marco polo song that we kept on playing it (and with it) over and over again.
Not forgetting My work with the UNFPA, and how that really affected my personality, and taught me a lot of stuff, and it was my highest scores at University that time (well it didn't mean much to me, but it was part of the party).
Also my great friends, can't forget anyone of them, all the group, it was a really nice group, but now everybody is in a corner of the earth, I can't believe that we might meet all once again :'(.
And the summer ended, and everything started to fall apart for me, and here I am with no love, no music, and almost no life.
If 1969 worth a song for Bryan Adams, 2002 worth all the Albums of a life for me.
Those were the best days of my life.

Buy your self a new box

Inspired from a post written by my friend Samer ...
Thinking out of the box ..., I've heard it a lot in all of this training sessions I've been to, and how you should always think out of the box, and you should know that there is a lot of options out of the box ... etc., well in most of the cases thinking out of the box is a waste of time, as there is a lot of options, you can get lost through them easily, and end up trying to do something not related to the first problem, in most cases staying inside the box would solve your problems much faster and more efficient, you can get out another time if you want but the point is to solve the problem.
The main problem in thinking outside the box, is that you need someone inside the box to pull you back you need, as you start flying, and forget the whole box, or even worse, you get lost and don't know where the hell is that box.

What if the box is to small, so you can't think in it, but outside the box is so damn cold and wild, also you can't think there, what should you do? Well I guess you just need to buy a new box, big enough to think in it, and it's also safe and worm. I guess that is the solution, buy a brand new box. Also you can choose how it looks, how big it is, how is it from the inside ... etc. (of course you need money to do that).

well everybody enjoy your boxes.

Men & Women

Lately I read some posts either against women, or against men (we even had a discussion in the JP meeting -sorry I came late-), so that is why I'm writing.
Well there are several misunderstandings in this point, the first one, if you want to defend something, you don't have to fight others, you can just stick to the defending part, another one is the misunderstanding of equalities, Men and women were never equal, and will never be, or there wouldn't have been women or men, (it's the natures law), equality always comes in the rights, they are both humans, they deserve to have equal rights as humans.
In a society like ours, women have a lot of trouble living with their rights, there parents are against it, the society is against it, and sometimes the law is against it.
An example of what I see the situation, is like two brothers, one can do anything he likes (he has all the chocolate), and another one always blamed, and everybody loves the other one more than him, what happens here is that the second child starts hating the first one, and the first one starts to believe that he is better than the second one.
They say that women are less intelligent than men, well if you take a kid, and lock him in a room, for all his life, and take another kid and let him play go out, and do a lot of things, in the end, you would have a kid that is less intelligent, and maybe (MAYBE) a smart one, well women in our society are always locked in the room, and surprisingly a lot of them are smarter than a lot of men, which proves that women can be smart, now imagine how smart could that woman be if she wasn't locked in the room, if she could take her own choices when she was young (without a big revolution in the house), I guess we would have genius women hanging around.
But, in the end this doesn't mean that they should fight men, all men, well how many mothers ruined her daughters life, how many women criticized with no mercy any movement of a woman to liberate her self, how about not fighting anyone right now, how about we just start of liberating our selves without hurting anyone (except those who try to steal it).
And for those who are against women, well imagine the world without women, well, if you want it in the right path, women can rule us without us knowing, or even with our approval.
I just wish that all of this crap can end, and we start living like humans.

Technorati Tags: Women, Men, Rights

Another Definition of a Holiday

Well if you remember my first definition to a holiday, well I guess I have another one:

A holiday is the day that you can go to work late, and you can have lunch (Falafel) break whenever you like, whereas a working day is the day that you have to go to work early, and you have to take your falafel break only at a specific time, if you didn't take it, el 3awad b salamtak

Technorati Tags: Holiday, Definition, Work

Where have I been in the last 6 months (maybe more)

I was watching a movie the other day Paycheck, (I didn't finish it yet, as My DVD Drive cannot handle using for more than 20 minutes, I'm going to buy a new one soon), In that movie, one of them got his memory erased for 2 months, and when he was asked that are you OK with that, he replied about what does he want to remember from the last 2 months, there was nothing worth remembering.
I started thinking, what do I want to remember from my last period of time, or exactly, what am I going to remember. I was at the office working, What else did I do? I guess nothing important.
When I go back in memory to remember things, I just get back to 2002, that was my golden age. Now from the moment I graduated (February 2004) tell now, what did I do other than finding a job, working, and resign.
Man, I really feel pity for my life, I'm kind of transforming into a machine, yes I have accomplished a lot in these 2 years, but is this what I want. Is my life based on work achievements?
Is work achievements things worth remembering, (in a place other than the interview room).
I just hope that something personal pops up in my life, in some way, as I cannot make it happen.

Technorati Tags: Personal, Wierdo, work, movie

Masks

I've been reading about this masks that we wear all the time, in some blogs around, and I'm really feeling them annoying me.
For some period of time, I decided to remove all the masks I have (Most of them not all), and I tried living with it for a while, I really lived some period of my life, I was really undiplomatic (it was really fun to tell a guy you hate that you really hate him), I talked my heart, and I really felt free (as in freedom).
But graduating from the university, and going into the market destroyed everything, it's almost impossible to live in this world without masks. For example, you cannot tell your Boss that you hate him, or that he is so annoying (I thought about it a lot :P). You can't tell a customer that he is so stupid, or (a3la ma b5ailak erkabo). And as your social life gets smaller and smaller, you have to try to keep what's left from your friends. So you have to wear a different mask with every group of people.
And man, this artificial life that we are living, I really have a trouble getting into it. But in a lot of this you have to, or you would be the stupid geek living upstairs.
Well how many masks I wear, one for work, one for some other group of people at work, one for walking in the streets, one for a particular people I know, other for some group of friends, another for another group .... etc.
I have this question, am I going to live in masks for the rest of my life? Whom am I living for? Can't I just live my life the way I wanted it? ...
Ich kenne nicht.

Technorati Tags: Alaa, Wierdo, Masks, Personal

What a Night

Oba Oba, I love this woman, do you know what does it feels like when you spend all the night doing nothing but listening to music, especially when it's performed by Stan Getz, sang by the great Astrud Gilberto, and originally wrote by Joao Gilberto, Oh Dindi, and There is no one like you, (taken from the spirit of Chopin's Prelude in Em).
I love you more each day, yes I do, I'll let you go away, if you only take me with you, and the Girl From Ipanema, takes me to other worlds, no one else can take me to, and How Insensitive, I must have seemed, you didn't have to be so nice, I would've loved you anyway.
And in the end comes Ziad, in his Brazilian concert, with Sho B7ebbek, and his own version of Prelude in Em.
Every time I wanted to shut down the computer, another great song is played, and of course I could do nothing.
Thanks for this great night, of course this is not my first night like this, but I guess this is the first time I write about it.

Technorati Tags: music, jazz, alaa

Weirdo Thoughts

Well, I don't know where do I start, it's like a million thoughts in my mind running at once.
Today, I was setting with a friend of mine, we were discussing a lot of things, about relativity, about origins, about life ... etc.
It was mostly about judging and “MAYBE”, maybe things are this, and maybe things are not. You have to make a decision, but maybe you were right, and maybe you were wrong.
Logic should help you in this, but the problem is that logic is not always logical, Logic says that everything should have a start, and everything should have an end; but also logic says that there is always a plus 1, and of course there is always a minus 1. Well this is not logical, there is no rules, there is nothing in logic.
I started thinking, I'm living this life, I'm 22 years old now, I'm running in this life, I don't want to waste time, why?
In computer science, the most thing I saw that implements something like life was General Trees, and people started to put Algorithms to search them, but there is a big difference between them and between life, when you are in a node in the Tree, you know all the nodes surrounding you. In life you know some of the nodes around you, but more and more nodes are hidden from you, you always try to think out of the box to find another options (nodes), but you can't know them all. another major difference is that when searching in a General tree when you reach a dead end, you can go back one step or more. In life that's not always available, you cannot undo things you've done. People made heuristics to find the shortest path to another node, they rarely happen to find them (only in an ideal tree or life), for example everyday, I wake up to go to work (from Rainbow St. to the Second circle), I have some different paths to reach it, I have some rational options, and I take one of them. My rational option is that to reach to my work is to be heading to the first circle up the street, but what if I took another path, what if went down town, maybe I would find a colleague who's driving a car, and just picks me up and I would spend less time in my journey to work. it takes me about 20 minutes when I take my rational path, but if I calculate my irrational path, it would take me in such condition about 8 minutes. (it's another Maybe).
Another thing, I'm running through my life, racing time, but to where ... ? I'm more successful in my life than most of people in my age. but how can I tell. A simple question is always asked, what is the reason of my life? a lot of people just answer it without even really thinking about it. well let's ask the question in another way, what is the thing that you would die for? that if you achieved it you don't want anything more? well maybe I had an answer for that question for sometime, but it changed in a lot of time. new purposes where put, and a lot of purposes where erased. Now, I can't answer that question. I think is that I'm living in a chaos. It's a little bit organized, but it's still a chaos.
Damn, I cannot concentrate on one thing. Why am I going to work everyday? why I'm spending time doing what I do? why am I being me? where do I want to go in the end? ...
No answer, which gives another kind of question, why do I want to live? I didn't choose to live in the first place, I was never convinced with a reason to come to this planet. And now I'm fighting to survive ... Ironic. If I died, what changes would that make? If I lived a million year, what changes would that make? If I didn't come to this planet, what changes would be? ... No answer!
If you take an upper view to life, you would feel it's worthless. But you are fighting for survival, you are racing time to take the most of it. WHY? ... No answer.
I lived a lot of experience in my life, that most people would live and die without knowing any of them, I lived the best days of my life, and I lived the worst. I knew what hunger means, and I know how love feels like. I lived days that I don't want to sleep, cause I would lose a moment of happiness, and I lived days that I don't want to wake up, so I wouldn't feel more pain. Why all of this? I could've ended things in a lot of ways, but I didn't. I could've asked for help from people that I don't want them in my life when I really needed it, but I didn't. why? ... I just don't know.
In the last JP meeting, I spent almost 10 minutes, just sitting, looking at every group, hearing what they say, just trying to figure out what discussion interests me the most. I wanted to move to sit beside a group, to join, but at that moment, I don't know what happened to me, I moved to another group. what I was thinking in that moment? ... can't say.
Sometimes I think, what if I knew everything? wouldn't that make my life easier? but what does it worth living after that? I've always hated limits, but limits makes you comfortable. Sometimes I'm too lazy to be alive ... other times I come too active to be a ... I don't know what. but most of the time I just exist, doing things for no reason, breathing for no reason, but just trying to live as a regular normal being? but I always fail. Most of people dream to be superb, I always wanted to be just normal, and I always fail. People usually respect me, but they also never agree with me. Maybe I'm trying to be a romantic rational person. but of course in theory I would fail, and I guess I failed.
Damn, I don't know anything. I guess I'm going really crazy ...

Ma3eesh Masary

Well, for a long time, I believed that the important thing is your work, your personality, and money always came in the second place, for me I believed it's only a tool.
As from the last period, I found out, that I was mistaken, if you don't have money, you are nothing, you are the amount of money you have.
You don't have to pay money, you only just need to have them. In a situation you would be discussed to be accepted, another one (who has money) would be accepted without negotiation. I really hate these things, until lately I felt really discriminated by it, although I deserved a thing more than another one, the other was accepted (he really has a lot of money), maybe I cannot judge what really happened, but I felt it this way, it was really annoying to me.
I guess, I need to join Fight Club.

Tyler Durden (Brad Pitt at Fight Club):
Advertising has its taste in cars and clothes ... working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need.
We're the middle children of history, man.
No purpose or place.
We have no Great War ... no Great Depression.
Our Great War is a spiritual war.
Out Great Depression is our lives.
We've been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires and movie gods and rock stars.
But we won't, We're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off.

Random Crazy Weirdo Thoughts

Justice is Blind. Justice halls painted green. Does he have the right to do something?
From the beginning of the previous century, the terms right and wrong, good and evil, had a lot of troubles surviving, these terms needed some kind of relation to something, you can say this thing is right for some kind of culture or religion or any kind of ideology.
In the end they depended on power, the one who has power, is the one who has the right. Like did the US had the right to invade Iraq? Well depending on our culture, maybe not, but did that matter, they invaded it anyway, and who could've stopped them, depending on there power, yes they had the right.
And now the question that is lately so much asked, did this Danish newspaper had the right to publish these cartoons? Till now nothing is clear, as the forces are not really visible. And does freedom of speech allows them to do that? well if we can get a couple of years before, when Bin Laden destroyed the Buddha's statues, did he had the right to do so? Well it appears that he had, nobody had complained. Like Buddhism is not a religion or something, and he did not discriminate them. Every day in our life a lot of people discriminates Buddhas, Hindus, Maharishis ..., and you know that is not discrimination, as those people has no power, and depending on our culture they are wrong, and they are stupid, and they are just a few unbelievers, cause they have gods other than ours, and we also swear at Jews, even in the fact that it is forbidden in Islam, but we consider them as enemies of god, even they believe in god, and we also consider them to hate Muslims, forgetting about some Jews who supported us and our case (Like Felicia Langer), but who cares, they don't complain about it here.
I remember before a couple of years, I was watching Late Night with Conan O'Brien on NBC, where I don't really remember whom he was talking to (I guess it was Chris Rock), who said that this is the end of time, implying somethings about the current time (I remember that he said that the best rapper is white, the best Golf player is Black, France is accusing US to be arrogant ... etc.), well I guess it's really the end of time, US is teaching Europeans how to respect religions, Britten is accusing the rest of Europe with being Racist (which the Britons were always not ?!), the Arabs are teaching Europeans the freedom of speech, And Syria is the first country to take her ambassadors out of Denmark between the Arabs based on a religious issue, Man it's really the end of time.
And at the end, what does Muslims really want from all of this Danish thing? aren't we having enough troubles with the rest of the world (Palestine, Lebanon, Iraq, Syria, and Iran)? do we need a new one? and what does the other European journals (who republished the cartoons) are up to? and how is it going to end? are we going to forget as usual? or it's going for eternity?
I guess everything is going crazy around here. This planet is lacking a lot of logic, I guess everybody is going crazy (including me). (Eza janno rab3ak 3aglak ma benfa3ak, If your people are gone crazy, your mind is not of good use for you!).

When will we grow-up?

Inspired by a post on Khalaf's blog about the human rights report, and the Jordanian responses against it.
Well I guess it's in our culture to think that we are perfect, and we never do anything wrong. We never accept the thought that we might be wrong at some point, if you come to your colleague and tell him that he did something wrong, the first thing that he tries to do is to deny, and if he couldn't he would start blaming somebody else, or even starts blaming you, even if you have nothing to do with it.
One of the points that I learned during My work with the UNFPA, is if you want to reach to something you should learn from your mistakes, and to learn from them the first thing you need to learn is where did you make mistakes, for that you need to criticize your self and to listen to other people criticism, as they have another points of view, you should listen to them, unfortunately in my live, the only people who criticized me was my bosses (who should to make the job better), and my close friends who really cares about me (as we always had this thing between us), other people thinks that they might hurt my feeling with their criticism, for me nowadays, (it's something wrong that I do) as I'm bored of all of this, if I criticized somebody, and he just started to deny it or to take the defensive side, as if I was attacking him, I would put him in some list, and would start to avoiding any interaction between me and him (and of course try to ignore his existence), and if it was work we are talking about, (alright I would tell him first) if he took that side again, I would report it to the manager (as he cannot take that side with him), I know that it's mean, but I just hate this kind of people.
If you don't criticize, and accept criticism, how can you develop?

Let's see what you have to say …

People who affected my life

My life had run through a lot of changes, almost all of these changes were made by my own decision, (some of them were because my life has changed depending on my conditions, but in the end I'm still what I am in the end), my decision was made through my change in the mental field.
from the people I never met, the first one I remember was Irwin Schrödinger, for those who doesn't know who he is, he had put one of the most important equations in the history of physics, he made the change from classic physics to modern physics, the most important to me was not what he done, but the when did he do it, and what was he, he was a second year mathematics student, he wasn't even specialized in physics, or chemistry, he just gave me the thought of that where ever you are, and who ever you are, you can make a change to this world, and you can be one of the greatest this world has witnessed, he gave me the ambition with no limits.
The second one I remember is Karl Marx, Although his great thoughts that he had written, the most important thing for me was mentioned in the Communist Manifesto rewrite, The Communist Manifesto was first written in 1848, when he republished it almost 30 years after, in it's preface he said a very important thing, he said that he is publishing it the same it was before just for the scientific integrity, although he does not agree on the most of it, when I read that, I just realized how change can be, how every period needs it's own study, you cannot say something and after a hundred years to expect that it's still working as when it was put, I really understood what a changing world we live into, and if I couldn't understand that change, I just can't live in it.
The third one was Jack London, from his writings I learned a lot of things, I learned how can I analyze the world around me, how can I argue about something I really believe in, and prove myself right (this doesn't mean I'm closed minded :p).
From the people I've met who made a change for my life, there was actually not a lot of people (most of them were girls :p).
In the end I would just like to say, that I just hope, in one day, that somebody says, that Ala'a had affected my life, I don't know, maybe that's a dream, maybe I've affected some lives before, but I just hope that this happens.

So You Think You Can Tell Heaven from Hell

The other day I was practicing Pink Floyd's Song Wish You Where Here on my guitar, and in a sudden I started thinking about the first line, well can I really tell heaven from hell, I don't really know, what is heaven to me, for some time I thought if I could just live alone in this world, doing whatever I like, this would be heaven. After a while of living alone in a house with no one around me, I just couldn't stand it, my mind just went off, until lately, you can barley find me home, I'm trying to spend my time anywhere but home, trying to reach every human touch around, that was really Hell for me, perhaps these days I'm going to have a room mate, I'm still afraid of it, but what the hell, I'm going to give it a try.
And like this a lot of things I find in my life.
So what do you think, can you really tell heaven from hell? Lets hear what you have to say.

This is the Lyrics of the song if you want :p

So, so you think you can tell Heaven from Hell,
blue skies from pain.
Can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail?
A smile from a veil?
Do you think you can tell?
And did they get you to trade your heroes for ghosts?
Hot ashes for trees?
Hot air for a cool breeze?
Cold comfort for change?
And did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage?
How I wish, how I wish you were here.
We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year,
Running over the same old ground.
What have you found? The same old fears.
Wish you were here.

A Definition of A holiday

A holiday is the period of time you start collecting more work to do when you get back to work.
I really need to have some sleep ahhhhhhhhhhh.

Love, Music & me

This is not a stupid article or something, will I guess this is not an article at all, It's just something I'm thinking about.
Well how do I start? Ya, In my entire life I fell in love for 2 times, which were (if I could say) an impossible relation, for me every perfect girl (something like soul mate, but I don't believe in soul mates) has to be an older girl, who has something makes it impossible for us to have a happy ending.
My first was with a girl who was 3 months older (not a big deal), but we were form different planets, like that I'm from Pluto, and she's from Mercury, which should have end up (and it did) in a very little time, my second (My soul mate) we had everything in common, but she was 3 years older, and we couldn't get over it so it didn't last, and there was almost a 3rd, which I cut my mind off cause it (as i think) an impossible one, i guess shes older, and also have another religion (this thing just get my nerves off, the religion thing, that says no happy ending).

What I was getting to say is that all of this happened while music was in my way, I remember every time I fell to love I listened to too much Jazz(as usual), and also to Julia Botros, Bryan Adams, Bonjovi (which I refer to them as my old friends).

What I was thinking about yesterday, is why do I love Jazz that much, well of course because I love there music, the way the notes come, the freedom it gives, but after a deep thought there was something else more important, it is because it gives me something I really need, I usually don't have, and if i have it, it gives me a lot more, it gives me love, Jazz so full of love, I feel jazz like a delicious wine, when you put a little in your mouth, you just want it to remain there cause it tastes so good you don't want it to go to your stomach, but you also want all of your veins full of, so you swallow it, and take another, and that's love.

I feel that music hasn't left something of your life that didn't get into it, but when it comes to love Jazz is the Master, I remember when my first relationship was ended I heard a track called After the Rain, It was the first time I hear that track and really feel it, I just couldn't stop crying, and like that a lot.

For me now I'm alone, desperate, but I have Jazz with me.

Thanks for reaching here

Getting Sick

I really hate to get sick, but what I hate more than that is to take medicine or see a doctor, I really prefer to remain sick than that, so I never took a sick leave cause I never had a proof that I've been sick, which were my annual leaves come in handy, I really wish I could get rid of that habit. :-)

A definition for War

The word war had always had a definition for me, I just want to say it here.
War is when two people (usually soldiers) try to kill each other, not because they disgrace each other, or even hate each other, but because of other two people (usually leaders) setting on fancy chairs, having fancy dinners, living a fancy life have a misunderstanding between them.
I Just hope that all the people who fights in these wars really understood this definition.