Smart Answers

I've just recieved this email, I guess a lot of you have seen it, but I just like to post it

BOY : May I hold your hand?
GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.

GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY : You love me...

GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??

GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple

GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??

BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL : How soon??

BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there??

SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning kiss??
TRACY : I did once. He'd forgotten to take the cigarette out of his

MAN : You remind me of the sea.
WOMAN : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
MAN : NO, because you make me sick.

WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other.
HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth.

MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly.What do u think, Peter?
PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.

Girlfriend : "...And are you sure you love me and no one else ?"
Boyfriend : "Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday".

Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"
Pupil : "The moon".
Teacher : "Why?"
Pupil : "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it".

Teacher : "What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?"
Pupil : "A teacher".

Waiter : "Would you like your coffee black?"
Customer : "What other colors do you have?"

My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called current affairs.

Teacher : "Sam, you talk a lot !"
Sam : "It's a family tradition".
Teacher : "What do you mean?"
Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher".
Teacher : "What about your mother?"
Sam : "She's a woman".

Tom : "How should I convey the news to my father that I've failed?"
David: "You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year's performance repeated".

Teacher : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?"
Student : "Brotherly love".

Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?"
Sam : "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook".

Patient : "What are the chances of my recovering doctor?"
Doctor : "One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I've treated. The others all died".

Teacher : " Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
One Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day and at the same time."

Teacher : " George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him ?"
One Student: " Because George still had the axe in is hand."

Technorati Tags: Funny, Stupid, Smart

PHP Programmer Vs. .NET Programmer

1st: could you please give me the code that you wrote that does this and that?
PHP Programmer: Sure, I'll send it to you right away, but be careful, as ..., and regrading ... etc.

1st: could you please give me the function you wrote that does this and that?
.NET Programmer: What?! I've spent a lot of time doing it, do you expect me just to give it to you? write your own code buddy.


Well, it's not only the PHP programmers (almost all the programmers that work on an open source platforms).

And there are exceptions regrading this situation, in both side. but I've specified here cause this is what happened in front of me.
What Era are these people still living in. like I'm asking you to give me the source of some great art. I don't need your stupid code, there are a lot of open source programmers who are willing to help (even some .Net Programmers)

Technorati Tags: PHP, Opensource, Programmer

Shame On You PHP.NET

Opened http://www.php.net and What the ....? I got this ...
Fatal error: Unknown function: AFG() in /home/local/Web/sites/www.php.net/include/mirrors.inc on line 18

Ahhhhhh, Shame on you .....

Technorati Tags: PHP, down, Shame

Tagging Till The Father of Banana (la abo mozeh)

As I've been Tagged by Manar this means I have to do it again:
Here is the rules:

1. Check the link


2. Answer the questions


3. Copy and paste the results

Lets Do it

What's your Japanese Name?

Your Japanese Name Is...

Shino Yamada

What's Your Blogging Personality?

Your Blogging Type is Artistic and Passionate

You see your blog as the ultimate personal expression - and work hard to make it great. One moment you may be working on a new dramatic design for your blog... And the next, you're passionately writing about your pet causes. Your blog is very important - and you're careful about who you share it with.

How Open Minded Are You?

You Are 52% Open Minded

You are a very open minded person, but you're also well grounded. Tolerant and flexible, you appreciate most lifestyles and viewpoints. But you also know where you stand firm, and you can draw that line. You're open to considering every possibility - but in the end, you stand true to yourself.

What Pattern Is Your Brain?

Your Brain's Pattern

You have a dreamy mind, full of fancy and fantasy. You have the ability to stay forever entertained with your thoughts. People may say you're hard to read, but that's because you're so internally focused. But when you do share what you're thinking, people are impressed with your imagination.

The Five Factor Personality Test

Your Five Factor Personality Profile

Extroversion: You have medium extroversion. You're not the life of the party, but you do show up for the party. Sometimes you are full of energy and open to new social experiences. But you also need to hibernate and enjoy your "down time." Conscientiousness: You have medium conscientiousness. You're generally good at balancing work and play. When you need to buckle down, you can usually get tasks done. But you've been known to goof off when you know you can get away with it. Agreeableness: You have medium agreeableness. You're generally a friendly and trusting person. But you also have a healthy dose of cynicism. You get along well with others, as long as they play fair. Neuroticism: You have medium neuroticism. You're generally cool and collected, but sometimes you do panic. Little worries or problems can consume you, draining your energy. Your life is pretty smooth, but there's a few emotional bumps you'd like to get rid of. Openness to experience: Your openness to new experiences is high. In life, you tend to be an early adopter of all new things and ideas. You'll try almost anything interesting, and you're constantly pushing your own limits. A great connoisseir of art and beauty, you can find the positive side of almost anything.

If Your Life Was a Movie, What Genre Would It Be?

The Movie Of Your Life Is A Black Comedy

In your life, things are so twisted that you just have to laugh. You may end up insane, but you'll have fun on the way to the asylum. Your best movie matches: Being John Malkovich, The Royal Tenenbaums, American Psycho

What Age Do You Act?

You Are 29 Years Old

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Type of Weather Are You?

You Are Sunshine

Soothing and calm You are often held up by others as the ideal But too much of you, and they'll get burned You are best known for: your warmth Your dominant state: connecting

Done!
I'll be tagging Dar, Hiba, & Yaman

Technorati Tags: Personal, Wierdo, Tag

Where have I been in the last 6 months (maybe more)

I was watching a movie the other day Paycheck, (I didn't finish it yet, as My DVD Drive cannot handle using for more than 20 minutes, I'm going to buy a new one soon), In that movie, one of them got his memory erased for 2 months, and when he was asked that are you OK with that, he replied about what does he want to remember from the last 2 months, there was nothing worth remembering.
I started thinking, what do I want to remember from my last period of time, or exactly, what am I going to remember. I was at the office working, What else did I do? I guess nothing important.
When I go back in memory to remember things, I just get back to 2002, that was my golden age. Now from the moment I graduated (February 2004) tell now, what did I do other than finding a job, working, and resign.
Man, I really feel pity for my life, I'm kind of transforming into a machine, yes I have accomplished a lot in these 2 years, but is this what I want. Is my life based on work achievements?
Is work achievements things worth remembering, (in a place other than the interview room).
I just hope that something personal pops up in my life, in some way, as I cannot make it happen.

Technorati Tags: Personal, Wierdo, work, movie

Firefox 2.0 alpha available

If you aspire to be an early adopter, here's your chance. An alpha version of Firefox 2.0 called "Bon Echo" is available on Mozilla's FTP servers, and you can choose from the Windows version, Mac OS X version, or Linux version.

Due out later this year, Firefox 2.0 promises a handful of improvements and new features over what is already a very solid browser. (By way of disclosure, I use Firefox 1.5 exclusively on my PC.)

Version 2.0 has a handful of new features. One of the more interesting features is the revamped places menu, which is accessible from the bookmarks toolbar. Clicking on that brings up a box that will allow you to search your history, bookmarks, and RSS subscriptions for a keyword. Very useful if you remember reading about something interesting earlier in the day and need to quickly locate the web page again. Aesthetically speaking, there are a few minor tweaks to the UI, such as Xs on inactive tabs for easy closing.

Google's antiphishing tech is also planned for inclusion in a future version of Firefox. Although it does not appear to be incorporated into this early alpha of 2.0, Google Safe Browsing—which uses a combination of blacklisting and "best guesses" about a site's intention—may yet make it into the final release of Firefox 2.0.

Technorati Tags: Firefox, Release

The Terms And Conditions

That day I got a notice from a site that I rarely used (but I had an account there) that I'm breaking the law. and if that happens again they are going to delete my account (who cares), so I took a look at the terms of service they have, and just gasped (Oh My God, are we still living in that age), so I didn't wait tell they delete my account, I did it for them.
I'm not going to mention all the terms of services here, but just picked one by random

Not to mention any subject that involves violating proxy, or hacking emails and websites, or even spying on other users' PCs.

I don't know, I guess these things are over, or maybe I'm living in another planet for the last 5 years, I think that those things are called security tips, this black/white hat thing ended ages ago. If somebody has a security bug, everybody has to know, so they would avoid using it, until the bug is fixed

Taking a look at PHP 6

While most web hosts are still in the PHP 4 era, the PHP developers are already planning and working on PHP 6. Lets have a look at what’s been keeping them busy.
More

Technorati Tags: PHP, Release

Naji Ali

Technorati Tags: Naji Ali, System, Death

Masks

I've been reading about this masks that we wear all the time, in some blogs around, and I'm really feeling them annoying me.
For some period of time, I decided to remove all the masks I have (Most of them not all), and I tried living with it for a while, I really lived some period of my life, I was really undiplomatic (it was really fun to tell a guy you hate that you really hate him), I talked my heart, and I really felt free (as in freedom).
But graduating from the university, and going into the market destroyed everything, it's almost impossible to live in this world without masks. For example, you cannot tell your Boss that you hate him, or that he is so annoying (I thought about it a lot :P). You can't tell a customer that he is so stupid, or (a3la ma b5ailak erkabo). And as your social life gets smaller and smaller, you have to try to keep what's left from your friends. So you have to wear a different mask with every group of people.
And man, this artificial life that we are living, I really have a trouble getting into it. But in a lot of this you have to, or you would be the stupid geek living upstairs.
Well how many masks I wear, one for work, one for some other group of people at work, one for walking in the streets, one for a particular people I know, other for some group of friends, another for another group .... etc.
I have this question, am I going to live in masks for the rest of my life? Whom am I living for? Can't I just live my life the way I wanted it? ...
Ich kenne nicht.

Technorati Tags: Alaa, Wierdo, Masks, Personal

Ich bin etikettiert worden

Well Roba was nice enough to tag me, thanks

Q: Who’s the 4th person on your received call list?
A: Mother

Q: What’s your main ringtone on your phone?
A: 7oryah - Mohammad Moneer.

Q: What were you doing at midnight last night?
A: Refreshing some old memories with an old notebook (and hearing some songs I used to hear then)

Q: What did the last text message on your cell phone say
A: "احكي بنص قرش بعد منتصف الليل على ارقامك السوبر مع خط الطلاب 101", I still keep my 101 line.

Q: Whose bed did you sleep in last night?
A: Mine.

Q: What color shirt are you wearing?
A: Gray.

Q: Most recent movie that you watched?
A: Munich, It was really great.

Q: Name 3 things that you have on you at all times?
A: My mobile, My flash drive, and my Master Card.

Q: What's the color of your bedsheets?
A: Brown I guess.

Q: How much cash do you have on you right now?
A: 9 JDs and something.

Q: What is your favorite part of the chicken?
A: Legs.

Q: What's your favorite town/city?
A: Damascus.

Q: I can't wait to (till)...?
A: I don't know, I'm not dying for anything right now.

Q: When was the last time you saw your mom?
A: Saturday Morning.

Q: When was the last time you saw your dad?
A: Saturday Morning.

Q: When was the last time you talked to them?
A: Saturday Morning.

Q: What did you have for dinner last night?
A: I didn't.

Q: How long have you been at your current job?
A: Something close to 8 months.

Q: Look to your left. What's there?
A: My Bass.

Q: Who is the last person you spent over $50 on?
A: Me !!!!.

Q: Whats the last piece of clothing you borrowed from someone?
A: Can't remember...

Q: What website(s) do you visit the most during the day?
A: Google, Jordan Planet, Maktoob.com, and Quotes of the Day.

Q: Do you have an air freshener in your car?
A: I don't have a car.

Q: Do you have plants in your room?
A: Nope.

Q: Does anything hurt on your body right now?
A: My pointer finger on the right hand.

Q: What city was your last taxi cab ride in?
A: Amman.

Q: Do you own a camera phone?
A: Nope, that's why I'm missing all of the fun.

Q: What's your favorite starbucks drink?
A: Never been to.

Q: Recent time you were really upset?
A: Thursday.

Q: Have you been in love with anyone?
A: Twice, looking for the third if anybody is intrested.

Q: Who do you think will repost this?
A: Someone liked it.

I am tagging Manar, Jad, Dar, and Thomas.

Technorati Tags: Tag, Personal, alaa

NULL Issue In MySQL

In the last few days, I was working on some mysterious issue regarding some SQL statements, it was something like this.
SELECT count(*) from some_table WHERE (condition_a);
the result was:
+----------+
| count(*) |
+----------+
|    11223 |
+----------+

alright Now:
SELECT count(*) from some_table WHERE (condition_a) AND (condition_b);
+----------+
| count(*) |
+----------+
|        0 |
+----------+
aha Ok then:
SELECT count(*) from some_table WHERE condition_a AND NOT (condition_b);
The result was also
+----------+
| count(*) |
+----------+
|        0 |
+----------+

HA !!!!
Ok for those 11223 records the condition_a was true, from the second statement I could tell that condition_b was false, so NOT condition_b should be true, but it was also false from the third statement.
So for Logic to play around condition_b, and NOT condition_b both are false (How can that be) all theories of logic are broken (what is going on?)
After breaking up the two conditions, I found that I was comparing one of the values in condition_b with NULL, so in BOTH cases the result would be FALSE, I've always assumed that NULL would be casted to 0, but the fact that in MySQL it's not.
So this was just a thing that you might want to take care of when you write your SQL statements.
Hope it was Useful

Technorati Tags: MySQL, Gotcha, alaa, SQL

Sorry Pink Floyed

After looking at the referring sites that users come to my blog from, I found that Google was on top, and guess what, it's the search for "so you think you can tell heaven from hell", if you googled it, and pressed I'm Feeling Lucky you would go to So You Think You Can Tell Heaven From Hell , and if you pressed search you would find my blog at the top.
I'm sorry I stole that name :)

Technorati Tags: Pink Floyed, Google, alaa, blog, search